Bishounen Kidnapping Con Artists!
by Bishii-Luvas
Summary: Where have all the Bishounen gone? WE'VE got them! HA HA HA! RR PLZ! Rated for a teeny bit of language
1. Where are all the Bisii's!

Bishounen Kidnapping Con Artists

SilverShadowKittnen and Steph_chan

DISCLAIMER!! WE DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS FIC!!!

S_C: Though we wish we did.

SSK: Yup! It's so sad. I'd love to own Vash and Kenshin...

S_C: KURAMA!!!!

SSK: Well, that's what this fic is for!!! We can finally own the Bishounen!!!

S_C: But it won't be legal...

SSK: Who cares?! They'll be all ours!! Think of what we could do with them...

S_C: Yeah...*Grins evilly *

I forgot, since I was doing this on Microsoft Word, there will be no color. So here's the list:

Red:                     Blue 

Kenshin               Yusuke

Kurama               Sano

Hiei                      Miroku

Vash                    Yuji

Wolfwood

InuYasha

"Ready?" a soft feminine voice asked. "As ever." Two evil smiles could be seen in the dark. Steph_chan and SilverShadowKitten stood dressed from head to toe in black. Black ski hats topped black turtlenecks, black pants, and black boots. Two pairs of hazel eyes glittered in the darkness, a single candle their only source of light as the sat at a table, examining various maps and papers. "Ok." SSK said, all business. "We have nine hours to get in there and get all ten Bishounen. They are: Himura Kenshin, Kurama, also known as Minomori Suiichi, Hiei, Urameshi Yusuke, Vash, Nicholas D. Wolfwood, Sagara Sanosuke, InuYasha, Miroku, and Kaido Yuji. Color signifies importance. If their names are highlighted in red, they are the most important. _Grab them first. If their names are lighted in blue, get them last. I'll take Kenshin, Yuji, Wolfwood, Yusuke, and Vash. S_C, you will take Kurama, InuYasha, Sanosuke, Miroku, and Hiei. It's now oh-twenty one hundred. (A/N: 8 pm in normal time.) We'll rendezvous back here at oh-seven hundred hours. (A/N: That's 7 am. We're ambitious people. *SSK and S_C smile __very evilly*) Get in, get out, and get done. Got it?" S_C nodded. "Hai." "Alright let's do this." With that, the two Bishii-crazed teens ran off into the night._

THE NEXT MORNING...

Botan knocked on Kurama a.k.a Minomori Suiichi's door for the third time. _'Perhaps he's at school…but it's doyo-bi…hmmm…' She flew back to the Reikai on her oar, only to find a letter in her office._

Kamiya Kaoru wandered around the Dojo looking for Himura Kenshin. She was going to the market and wanted him to come with. "Kenshin!!" she called. "Oi Yahiko, have you seen Kenshin?" When no one answered, she stomped out of the Dojo and into the house. She entered her room to change into her usual kimono, where she found an ominous envelope with a skull and cross bones on it…she picked it up to open it.

Yukimura Keiko picked up the phone and dialed her boyfriend Urameshi Yusuke's number. After a few rings, she hung up, wondering where he could be. She opened the door to find an envelope on her front step. "Huh? What's this?" she wondered as she picked it up to open it. She started as she noticed the skull and cross bones stamped on the front. She opened it and read...

"We are happy to inform you that we have taken your precious Bishounen." Meryl Strife read off the piece of paper in her hand. Mylli Thompson read over her shoulder. "You don't have to worry we're taking good care of them. Come after us however..." (A/N: Imagine Meryl's voice fading and Marlene's voice coming in)

"...however, and we will kill your precious Bishii. Thank you for your time and patience, oh and you cute boyfriends!! Sincerely, Your Mortal Enemies." Marlene growled, crumpling the note in her clenched fist. "Yuji..."

Takani Megumi laughed at the letter. This had to be some kind of joke. No one would kidnap her precious Tori Atama, would they? Kaoru burst into the clinic panting and clutching a letter of her own. "Megumi-" she gasped for breath. "Kenshin-he's gone!!" "You too? That must mean Sano is too then!! What do we do?" " I don't know! Where should we look first?" "You contact the Oniwabanshu and I'll check with Tae." Megumi said rushing out the door. "Come on let's go!!" Kaoru nodded and ran out behind her.

Shizuru read the letter angrily. "Those bastards...iie. Hiei can take care of himself. He's ok I know it..."

Kagome and Sango ran through the forest to Kaede's hut. "Kaede-sama!!" Kagome called, bursting inside, startling the old woman. "What is it?" she asked. "The boys-Miroku and InuYasha." Sango cried. "Their gone!! Someone's kidnapped them!!" "Are you sure?" Kaede inquired. "They could have just gone on a walk." Kagome shoved the letter into Kaede's hands. "No!! Their gone!!!" Kaede read the note in shock. "Oh my...Come. We must find them." "Yes, but where do we look?" Sango asked. "We'll go to the village Seer. She'll tell us where they are." The three hurried out of the hut and into the village.

SSK: Well, well, well, it looks like we've finally succeeded S_C.

S_C: Yes! We've finally captured all the Bishounen!! Or all the good ones, anyway.

SSK: Oh yeah!! We rule!! Want a specific Bishii captured? Tell us in ur reviews!!!

S_C: Ur just trying to get them to review, aren't you?

SSK: Shhh!!! They don't know that!!! Or, well, I guess they do now...

S_C: *Shakes head* Please just review...

Japanese Terms

Bishounen: Do we really need to tell you this one?!  
Hai: Yes

Doyo-bi: Saturday

Reikai: Spirit World

Oi: Hey

Tori Atama: Sano's nickname, Rooster Head

Iie: No

Sama: Term of endearment, very respectful


	2. Capture, Pt1!

S_C: Mwhahahahahaaaa!!! Aaaaaand we're back!  
  
SSK: AND we've captured all of our bishiis!  
  
S_C: Well, in this chapter, I'm going to explain how exactly we caught our lovely little bishiis.  
  
SSK: This way you wont miss out on ANY of the juicy details!  
  
S_C and SSK: Enjoy! *Both smirk evilly*  
  
Disclaimer: S_C: nope. notta. zip. zilch. zero. u?  
  
SSK: dont look at me!! O_O  
  
____________________________________________  
  
*S_C's POV*  
  
I ran quickly yet silently through his neighbors' yards, finally reaching the street outside his window. I took my cap off and stuffed it in my pocket. 'Alright, here we go...' With that thought I let out a blood curdling scream and waited until I saw him rush to the window to fall to the concrete. Just as I figured, he leapt from the window, to the tree limbs, and to finally to the concrete before running over to me. I masked my smile as best I could with a grimace as I "tried" to sit up.  
  
"Oh, please, stay down. Are you all right? What happened?" the young man asked as he coaxed me to lie down again.  
  
"S-Suuichi? Oh, thank Kami-sama you're here! It was awful!" Oooooh, it was SO hard not to grin!  
  
"Yes, but how do you- oh, never mind. You go to my school, don't you?"  
  
"Yeah..," I answered with a hint of timidity. Psh. Yeah, right. Me, being timid around Kurama? No way!  
  
SSK: Suuuuuuuuuure......  
  
S_C: Hey, you be quiet, now! You're part will come soon enough! *begins to type again*  
  
*cough* Anyway--  
  
"What is going on, kitsune? You woke me up. I was sleeping quite peacefully," a cold voice said from the tree next to us. 'This is great! Two birds with one stone, I always say!' Kurama seemed to notice that I had spaced out.  
  
"Um...are you ok? You looked a little....,"  
  
"Spaced?" Hiei offered.  
  
"Oh! I'm sorry, I was just......thinking," I replied, giving them my most mischievous grin. They looked at each other and before either could react, I had thrown two knock-out gas bombs at each of them, jumping up and off the ground as I did so. I lifted them both one at a time and loaded them into a fifteen passenger van that was parked nearby.  
  
"Perfect. Two down, three to go. Though I am surprised that Hiei couldn't sense that one coming......" I left my thoughts in that spot and re-applied my black "war" paint. I then bounded off into the night, in search of my next "victims."  
  
___________________________________  
  
*SSK's POV*  
  
I ran in the opposite direction from Steph_chan, quickly reaching my target.  
  
"Vash? Is that really you?" I exclaimed, perfecting my plan in my mind.  
  
"Yes, that would be me," he smirked, pushing his tinted glasses further up on the bridge of his nose with one finger, "Who needs to know?" His smirk grew wider as he ran a hand through his spiky blonde hair. I think I almost fainted. Wait. No. I refuse to turn into jelly around a guy. A really hot guy. No. I took a deep breath.  
  
"Well....I do...," I gave him a rivaling smirk and tossed a gas bomb at the poor guy...and to think, he didn't even suspect a thing.   
  
"Tofu, tofu, tofu....tofu...," I heard a gentle voice mumbling. 'Yes!' I sauntered over to the red-haired rurouni and winked at him as I walked past....but not without dropping a mine-like bomb in the dirt directly in front of his path. He stared at me after "oro?!"-ing, not even noticing the small purple ball three inches from his foot. Good job, Kenshin. Just as I had suspected, he stepped right on top of it. I would have laughed had I not had something else to do. I scooped him up and threw Vash over my shoulder.   
  
"Great, now just three more to go....maybe I could pick up another...maybe Tasuki....if I have enough time...but I should...Wolfwood, Yusuke, and Yuji shouldn't be that hard to grab....," I said to myself, running towards our fifteen passenger van. I could've sworn I saw S_C running down the street; and my assumptions were proven correct when I saw Hiei and Kurama unconscious and sitting in the back seat, already buckled up.  
  
____________________________________  
  
SSK: Buckled up?  
  
S_C: Safety first! And besides, you drive like a maniac! o_O  
  
SSK: Well who said I was going to drive?  
  
S_C: You have the keys....  
  
SSK: Oh yeah! ^_^  
  
S_C: *sigh* Well, the next chappie will probably include how we captured the rest of our bishiis. Stay tuned!  
  
SSK and S_C: BISHII-LUVAS 4EVA!!! WHOOO!!!!  
  
SSK: Ja ne!  
  
S_C: Luv n peace! ^_^ REVIEW PLEASE! TELL UR FRIENDS!!!!! PLEASE! 


	3. Captured pt 2!

SSK: Konnichiwa minna-san!!!! S_C: Yeah it's us again!!! SSK: Poor things...aw don't worry you'll be rid of us... SSK&S_C: NEVER!!!!! SSK: Anyway, welcome to the next chapter of Bishounen Kidnapping Con Artists, written by your truly, SilverShadowKitten!!! *Knock Knock* S_C: Hey!! A visitor!!! YAY!!! SSK: ...*sweatdrop* S_C, just get the friggen door. I have to type now. S_C: Fine. I see how you are. I'm just your servant!!! SSK: Every authoress needs one. ^_~ S_C: *opens door* Mob of Angry Anime Girls: *Rioting outside our little typing room* S_C: GAH!!!!!! *Slams door shut* SSK: What is it? S_C: *Trembling in fear* T-they-they found us... SSK: Hurry!! Block the door!!!! SSK&S_C: *Putting chairs, tables, statues, pianos, houses,&cows in front of the door* Cow(s): Mooooooo... S_C: Huh? Houses? Cows?! How are we fitting these things in here? SSK: Just use your imagination Stephy. S_C: Whatever. Anyway, I'll finish up here. You start writting the dam chapter already!! SSK: Well, I would, had we not used the computer to block the door... S_C: O_o*Stares at large pile of things in disbelief*o_O Why me...?-_-; SSK: Aw its ok, we'll just use the back-up one. S_C: Yay we're saved!!! SSK: But where'd I put it...?! S_C: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! SSK: Wait I know I know I have it here somewhere...*Rummages in her "imagination". GOT IT!! S_C: Good. Now just don't lose it. Kami... SSK: *sits on the floor with computer* Ok now I'm typing. You make sure those girls don't get in here. I have to tell everyone how you stupidly left the thing behind. S_C: Hey it wasn't my fault!!! Vash was beginning to wake up!!! SSK: Whatever. Just let me type!! S_C: Oh, and did you send Tasuki to Rosaleane? SSK: *growls* I would if you'd let me type first. S_C: *shrinks back in fear* O-ok... M.A.A.G.: *Bang on door* S_C: Yipes!! SSK: *sweatdrop* well, anyway, here's chapter 2!!! Disclaimer: SSK:WE NO OWN, YOU NO SUE, YOU NO TAKE MONEY, TOO BAD FOR YOU!!! S_C: O_o'Where'd you get that? SSK: I made it up last night. ^_~ S_C: -.-" _____________________________________________________________________  
  
*S_C's POV*  
  
I'd already caught Kurama and Hiei and Kami was it hard not to do anything to-I mean, with, well you get the idea-them.  
  
SSK: S_C, you little Hentei! ^_~ S_C: Well you the one writting the chapter not me!! SSK: ... S_C: Oh just go write the chapter!! SSK: Fine!! *Sticks tongue out angrily at S_C*  
  
Anyway, yes it was hard to maintain control. But it wasn't the time for that. I had to capture all the Bishounen before morning. Looking at the list of Bishi's again, I decided to go after Sanosuke next. Yes the almost- Anarchy, brown-haired rooster head. He's sweet, loyal, strong, funny, a bit of a dummy, but that's ok. And of course he's one of the sexiest Bishi's out there. *Drool*  
  
SSK: Calm down. S_C: Aww...your no fun...  
  
But as I was saying, I went after him next. I went back 11 years into the Meiji era, and I could've sworn I saw SSK knocking Kenshin out with a gas bomb and dragging him away, but I maintained my focus. From previous knowledge, I already knew of four places he could be: the Akebeko, Kaoru's dojo, the Clinic, or the gambling hall. I decided to hit the Akebeko first. 'Bingo' I thought happily as my eyes immedietly spotted the tall fighter. I sat down, intent on following him until he was alone. But that didn't happen. Everytime he seemed to be alone, I would sneak up only to have to hide at my table again, becuase one of his friends would pop up. 'This is gunna be harder than I thought' I thought. 'Kami it's like he knows everyone in town!!' I thought frustratedly. Finally, in a drunken stupor, he stood and shook off his friends, and after and exasperated look from Tae, he was out the door. I followed. Looking at my map, I found a route that could get me past him and back around again. I went down the allyway and doubled-back, turning on to the main road, which he was walking towards me on. 'SCORE!' I thought, and I dropped a gas bomb right in front of him.It went off and When he was asleep, I picked him up with difficulty, the big Rooster, and I put him in the time machine, and we went to the present and I loaded him in the van.  
  
*SSK's POV*  
  
After getting Vash and Kenshin I looked at my list of targets. After crossing out the names of the two unconscious bishii's, I scanned the list for the next red-letter target. 'Ah...' I grinned evilly. Nicholas D. Wolfwood. Good priest, bad boy. Pulling out my capsulized Time Machine(Thank u Bulma!), I pressed the appropriate buttons and with a VOOM!!, I headed back to Vash's time. And there he was, walking down the street with his signature crucifix/machine gun, the Punisher. I smiled and winked as I passed by. His interest piqued, he did an about-face and followed me. I looked over my shoulder at him, my smile a bit wider. The grin on his face said everything: he thought he was gunna score. Intent on my goal, I swished my hips a bit more and turned into a small alley. He followed, and when he walked past my hiding spot in the shadows, I jumped out from behind him. "You naughty, naughty boy." I said. "Chasing after young innocent girls. You just wait untill Mylli finds out..." He paled. Using his hesitation to my advantage, I tossed a gas bomb out in front of him. After he was asleep, I picked him up over my shoulder and carried him back to the van where Vash and Kenshin were *ahem* waiting. Tossing him into the back, I used the Time Travel attachment and headed back to the present/future/past, my time, whatever. I caught up with S_C and then deposited our new bishi's at headquarters. Groans came from the back of the van and we realized that one of the guys was waking up. "Oh no! We have to do something!" I whispered. "I'll handle it." S_C said resolutely. She hopped out of her side and opened the back door. I heard a few dull smacks and she came back up front. "Who was it?" I asked when she opened the passenger side door. "Vash." she answered. She got back in and buckled up, and as we sped away, we didn't realize the tiny business card she had dropped before she climbed back in:  
  
Bishounen Kidnapping Con Artists 1567 Rondale Rd Middle Park VA (679)-854-3875  
  
S_C: What'd u stop so early for?! SSK: We need 2 send our little present 2 Roseleane. DUH! S_C: O yeah I 4got. *Cue cheesy "The Price is Right" theme* SSK: Ahem!! Ladies and Gentlemen!! Would Roseleane please come on dooooooowwwwwwwwwnnnnn!!!!!! *crickets* SSK: Huh?! Where is she?! She's supposed to be here to pick up Tasuki!! *seething* S_C...!! S_C: Y-yes?! _ SSK: Did you forget to send Roseleane her information and plane tickets?! S_C: *oro face* Well, forgot is such a strong word... SSK: *angry Kaoru face^_* I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU FORGOT TO SEND HER THE STUFF!!!!! S_C: *also Angry Kaoru face* WELL WHY DIDN'T YOU SEND IT?! SSK: BECAUSE IT WAS YOUR JOB!!!!!! Bag holding Tasuki: *wriggles* *sweatdrop* SSK: Well, we could always mail him to her... S_C: Yeah. We should do that. She'll get angry if she doesn't get what she asked for. SSK: Yeah we're like the Santa Clause's of Fan Girls all over the world!!! S_C: YAY!!! SSK: *Holding duct tape and a cardboard box* Well, let's get wrapping S_C: *holding up a lil red bow and jumping like an excited puppy* Can I put the ribbon on? Can I, can I?! SSK: *Sweatdrop* Yes S_C. You can put the ribbon on S_C: YAY!!!! SSK: *shakes head* come on let's just wrap him up already... Bag holding Tasuki: GAAHH!!!!!! *Tries to wriggle away* SSK: *Tackles the bag* I don't think so!! Hurry S_C, get him in the box! S_C: Got it!! SSK/S_C: *wrap box all perty w/ the ribbon* SSK: MAILMAN!!! Maiolman: Yeah? SSK: Mail this to Roseleane, pronto!! Mailman: You got it! SSK: Well, folks, girlies & chikas in particular, you want a Bishi? Review and you'll get one!!! Well, ciao! 


	4. Quick Author's Note!

SYT: Hey all you fans out there! S_C: It's us!!! SYT: Yes, we know it's been quite along time, but e promise we'll update soon! Ne, S_C? S_C: Of course! Buy anyway, thank you all for the reviews and PLEASE stay tuned!!! 


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